Tether

Sometimes I’m filled

With such emptiness

I float away, so far

Yet without fail

You pull me back

Smiling, saying, “There you are”

Yes, I have grown out of my old, empty shell and

instead of taking a new one,

I now face the world as myself; uninhibited

I’m vulnerable, yet at my strongest

With foolish courage I can now admit I have this great love inside of me,

but I have not quite figured out

in this new, beautiful chaos

where to put it

Confinement

my heart does not beat but paces;

an uneasy stirring amongst placidity

as madness stalks and creeps

that which is helpless to run

Conflict of Interest

I cannot stop the distance growing from this stagnancy

Realizing I cannot love you without hating myself

Has left me unsure of what to do with these hands

That both reach out and resist

(Or what I want you to do with yours)

Little Me

A little more them, a little less me

That’s how you thought it had to be

You nourish, they flourish,

Leave you with one less piece

You’ve become so small, little me

Raised to take up as little room

To give others space to grow

You turned your cries to whispers

Smothered flames into flickers

Learned to shrink into your sorrow

Now you’re alone with no one in need

Left as bones and dust, human debris

Nothing left for yourself

But hate and envy

You’ve become so small, little me

I told myself I’d never be naive and oh, the beautiful irony-To know it is a wolf beneath the wool, yet still cry out in shock when it devours me.

-The Wise Sheep’s Naivety 

Wicked Little Habits

You tell yourself you’re better off alone

That everything is temporary

Yet find yourself creating ghosts

Just to keep you company

Go ahead then

Push everyone you love away

Just to know you can survive

The hole they’ll leave one day

Keep wandering from place to place

Too scared to put down roots

Cause caring is like Russian Roulette

You shoot, click, shoot, click, shoot, click,

Boom

Purple

I’m lost inside myself

seeing red within the blue

misery and hate roll beneath my skin

giving it a stormy, purple hue

with blood in the water

ripped flesh in the sea

my demons are starved

and ready to feed

Piece of Mind

I abandoned something long ago

A piece of my mind

A part of my soul

Once an easy careless daze

I’m lost within this haze

Trapped in my ways

 

I’ve tried to kill my demons

But I’m nothing without them

We were once friends

They made me who I am

I can’t escape their grasp

A prisoner to debts of my past

 

Struggling to move forward

When I can only see behind

Am I too far gone within this darkness

Or am I merely blind?

I’m just trying to find

My peace of mind

 

I did what I had to survive

To keep breathing

I let a part of me die

Now I weep at its grave

Wish to once again feel alive

But all I feel is dead inside

 

I’ve tried to shake this sickness

To leave all I’ve known

But I’m stuck in its hold

And it won’t let me go

Like quicksand ever time I rise

Slowly I’m pulled back down below

 

My sanity is Hell’s permanent guest

My soul damned to lie in bitter unrest

Consumed by this darkness

Lost and blind

Hopelessly searching for

My piece of mind

Dark Vision

I’ve tried to find love for this skin

Yet I only find loathing, sorrow, and pain

How could someone ever love something so vacant?

Of everything good I’m suddenly undeserving

My mind is shrouded by a  selective mist

Darkness creeps silently into my vision

I wake up and hate myself for it

Wishing I would have never risen

 

You’re wasting your love

Wasting your breath

I’m too far gone

Within this sick mindset

 

I am not enough, not right for you

And though I try I never will be

Better options lie at your fingertips

Don’t settle for less than you deserve

I am an illusion of ideal, an idea you augment

But I will come up short without fail

My burden will grow heavier until you’re left

With only regret and disappointment

 

You’re wasting your love

Wasting your breath

I’m too far gone

Within this sick mindset

 

You might think you are in love with me

But you’ll find it merely a passing infatuation

One day you will laugh at the thought of

Having ever been able to belive otherwise

And I will drown in bittersweet relief

Knowing you will have finally realized

You’re better off, as all are,

With anyone but me